Today, I say goodbye.
Goodbye jiajie. I loved you. So much so badly so deeply.
Maybe it was wrong of us to have started. But I remembered you told me once, that never regret anything because at one point it was what we wanted so bad.
Maybe you regretted me. Given by the looks it seem like you regretted me.
But it’s alright I guess.
You have her now. It’s all ok for you yea? My blessings I doubt it’ll matter after all. But it’s alright, I’m still happy for you. I really am.
Because your happiness, means so much to me. I never want to see you get hurt. I hope that she loves you better than what I could, I hope she really loves you and pampers you the way you want to.
I hope she remembers your fav snacks and remembers to get them for you whenever she’s at a supermarket or simply at TP cheers. I hope she reminds you to drink more water because you don’t fancy drinking water. I hope she reminds you to eat your breakfast and not to add so much soya sauce into your meepok. I hope she pulls your hand away whenever you start to concentrate so hard on sth you start to nibble on your knuckles. I hope she tells you to sleep early because it isn’t healthy to sleep so late. I hope she entertains you and makes you smile more than I did. I hope when you bring her to places like chomp chomp, you’ll enjoy it more. I hope that she won’t get shock at how you eat your Mac spicy by starting from the buns and leaving the chicken last. I hope she knows you love mac wings and ribena chill. I hope that she knows your shirt size so that she won’t get such a big size when buying gifts for you. I hope she tells you not to drink red bull because it’s unhealthy. I hope she remembers every small detail like I did like how you don’t fancy prawns but fancy the transparent looking ones and how you didn’t know what to eat when you ate w me at sushi express. I hope she reminds you not to add so much chili into your ramen because you’ll end up regretting it in the toilet. I hope that she knows you love chicken meat and not pork. I hope that whenever she hugs you, she’ll know how lucky she is. Because you were all I needed to live. But now you are all hers.
I hope she loves you the way you want. I hope she respects your mom and buys her food too. I hope she greets your father with respect. Most importantly , I hope she makes you feel happy.
I love you so much. I can’t let go. But I’ll have to say goodbye. I’ll always remember you, my first love. Don’t hate me don’t dislike me but it’s all too late yea? I love you jiajie. I miss you so bad that it’s killing me every single day. The letters I wrote to you, will never seem to get to you. That’s why I’m writing it here (some of it) hoping that one day, maybe you’ll come back and see it. Hoping that a part of you will somehow miss me. Even if it’s just a little, I hope some part of you still leaves a space for me.
Love her well, I hope that, she’s the one for you. I really wish we could work out that I was praying so hard I would be the one for you. You were the one for me, but I ain’t the one for you.. I’ll disappear out of your sight. I won’t appear again Infront of you. You don’t have to worry about me being a nuisance to you anymore..
I love you jj.
I really do.
It’s alright, I’m saying goodbye. Stay healthy ok? Stay happy. Take care.
I really love you. But it’s alright that you don’t. I hope the next time that we meet, maybe, we’ll be able to have a casual convo where we are both comfortable with each other, like how we were in secondary school
Goodbye, to the guy which I loved so much which saved me when I was in the hospital, which always remember my birthday and celebrates it with me regardless in sec2 or until my 18. I’ll miss you like I’ve been every day. I’ll stop smoking because it’s stupid and I’ll control my alcohol intake because it ain’t healthy. I should be leading my life like you are, so happily right? Haha I should. So I guess no more wallowing in self pity or pain. It took me so long to realize that I need to be happy too. I miss the me before we happened but I guess it taught me so many things. Within a year, I changed so much. For the good or the bad, I matured. For that I’m glad. It’s time to focus on people which loves me and of course to continue improving myself and not keep degrading myself. I genuingly hope that you will Lead a good life yea, which I know you will. :) sweet dreams as always and stay healthy, and for the last time, I love you.
Book of the day: The Passage by Justin Cronin
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